Great Thinkers of Our Time (????)
( wdell.com/humor/thinkers )

  

Question:  If you could live forever, would you and why?
Answer:  "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever."
---Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest

"I haven't committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law."
    ---David Dinkins, New York City Mayor, answering accusations that he failed to pay his taxes.


"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life."
    ---Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for a federal anti-smoking campaign.


"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body."
    ---Winston Bennett, Univ. of KY basketball forward


"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country."
    ---Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC


"We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees."
    ---Jason Kidd, upon his drafting to the Dallas Mavericks


"China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese."
    ---Former French President Charles De Gaulle


"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."
    ---Former U S. Vice-president Dan Quayle


And last but not least -- a parting word from Dan Quayle:

"I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix."


Makes you feel pretty smart doesn't it?

 


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